Saturday, August 29, 2009

Five Things You Should Know About Small Joint Manipulation!

By Al Case

When people watch the Mixed Martial Arts extravaganzas, they watch grown men being twisted into mat slapping broken noodles, and they see all the big one punch knock outs. This is truly amazing and potent and wonderful martial arts, but they are missing the boat. One of those odd, little regulations they have in MMA that not many people pay attention to, you see, is No Small Joint Manipulation.

Now what the heck could be so frightening about manipulating small joints that the monsters of the MMA, with all their limb twisting prowess and face smashing fists could be afraid of them? I mean, couldn't you just beat the holy you know what out of any fellow who tries this Small Joint Manipulation thing? Shouldn't it be easy to handle somebody who is going after your little, itsy bitsy finger?

One thing I discovered, when I first started training in the martial arts, is that if you grab somebody by the fingers, and I would assume Small Joint Manipulation refers expressly to the fingers, the fight is over. If you manage to grab somebody just by one of his little hand worms and bend that finger back, they will go up on their toes, prance around like a drunken ballerina and do what you want, and even follow their little finger, should you throw that finger, say, off a cliff. Isn't that the most strangest and most ridiculous thing you have ever heard?

Another thing you can do with fingers is twist them. Grab a couple of fingers and just turn them. The fingers will grind, the knuckles will grind, and Mr. Bad Guy will suddenly swirl around in front of you and you will be able to literally mop up the floor with him.

Another thing you can do with fingers, and I really think this one is incredible, is press sideways on them. Simply place a thumb on a joint, another finger on the tip of their finger, and press ninety degrees to the way the joint is meant to bend. Man, this is an instant finger breaker, and Mr. Mugger is suddenly going to be on his knees and looking up at you and crying.

Here's a most insidious and evil little manipulation that will give you a wide smile, dig your fingernail into the base of the his nail. This is like sticking bamboo shoots right under the fingers, and the pain is more than excruciating. Again, Mr. Bad guy will drop to his knees faster than fast and beg you to leg go.

My favorite small joint manipulation, however, is to catch the fist and press the tip of the finger towards the second joint of that finger. You are bending the finger more than it is meant to be bent, and the screams for mercy are going to be music to your delicate ears. This is a hard one to catch, I mean we're talking about catching a moving fist, but that makes it all the juicier when you do get it.

Fingers are small little sausages with immense potential for hurt. Grab a finger or two and twist, bend too much, bend back, bend sideways, dig your nail into, and somebody is going down quick. Practice a few of these (gently) with a couple of work out partners, and you'll soon know why the big bad boys of the MMA are deathly afraid of a little True Art.

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